So, Occupational Health had "suggested" (read accused) that I had Post Natal Depression because I got so upset that someone tampered with my breastmilk at work.
When I came off the 25 minute call, where I was assured that the Corporation had done everything they were supposed to, I was so angry and still feeling very violated. The bit I was most angry about was that this woman's suggestion had me thinking that maybe she was right. Maybe I was suffering from Post Natal Depression. Maybe my reaction was a bit over the top. Probably nobody had been into my milk, they had just had a nose and had a look at what was in it. She made me question myself and my reaction. I even talked to my husband (who was livid about what had happened) and asked him if he thought I was suffering from Post Natal Depression (PND). He confirmed that I absolutely wasn't and that he felt that my reaction was justifiable. I also spoke to a friend who is also breastfeeding and she said that once you know that your milk has been touched it's no longer sterile anyway so you can't use it.
I couldn't physically throw the milk away so my husband had to do it. I had no idea I had such an emotional attachment to it.
Work have since put a lock on the fridge which was supposed to be fitted the following day. It took a week to fit and whilst I waited I was told to store my milk in a cool bag with ice packs. Nice.
Occupational Health had suggested I get in touch with my Health Visitor. I phoned my Health Visitor who was absolutely brilliant. I know a lot of people knock Health Visitors but mine was excellent all the way through. She said that if anyone had tampered with her breastmilk she would have been "incensed with rage". She said that my reaction was exactly what she would have expected and she was horrified that Occupational Health suggested that it was because I was suffering with PND. She suggested I go to the Doctors and take all of the PND questionnaires in case work come back and try any "funny stuff".
I was a little bit naughty and made the doctor's appointment during works time because I felt a little bit rebellious. Did the PND questionnaires and came up as: a little bit tired. Well, duh! I'm a Mum of a 7 month old Dumpling who is working part time, course I'm bloody tired! lol.
I emailed my Manager to tell him what had happened and I got an email back saying he was on holiday (nice to be informed of these things!) and that he takes these things "very seriously" and that he would "Support me 100% in my return to work". I didn't dare mention that I had already been back at work six weeks. Oh and guess what, he sent the email four weeks ago and I haven't heard anything since. So, all that rhetoric about supporting Mum's returning to work, It's total bollocks. I wonder if all Companies are like this or I'm just lucky? ;-)
Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts
Friday, 14 October 2011
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
Poogate
Warning: the following post might make you feel a bit sick...
There was an incident this summer at work when I was on Maternity Leave. Somebody "poo'd" in a plastic cup and left it in the toilets.
Yup. Really.
I work for a major Corporation and it says a lot if your employees feel so dissatisfied that they choose to go to such lengths. Lets not even mention the frequent blocking of the men's toilets so that the sewage leaked everywhere.
Annnnyway, I returned to work in August. I was (and am) still breastfeeding. There was a lot of hooha about me needing my own fridge to store my milk in. The lady who sorted it out was very proud of the sign that she made which said "Only Authorised Personnel to use". I wasn't completely comfortable about leaving my milk in the fridge as it was in the middle of the kitchen that everyone has access too (about 150 people). However, I stored the little bottle in one of those Tommee Tippee microwave tubs so you couldn't see what it was if you just opened the fridge to have a nose.
A few weeks in, someone decided to leave their beef slices and cottage cheese in my fridge. I actually thought it was quite funny at the time. However, the "Fridge Lady" was very annoyed and sent a very strongly worded email out to everyone saying that only Authorised Personnel could use the fridge. She then said she would have the fridge cleaned in case of "contamination". I thought this was a bit bizarre cause the milk was stored in the same fridge as our food at home.
The following week I had finished for the day and went up to collect my milk that was stored in the fridge. Except it had been moved. It wasn't in the same place I had put it. Which meant someone had gone in and done "something" to it.
I told the "Fridge Lady" and as I drove home I got more and more upset and more and more angry. When I got home I could barely talk I was crying so hard. I wanted to do something and the only thing I could think of doing was to phone Occupational Health and explain what had happened.
Do you know what the lady from Occupational Health said? She said that the Corporation had done everything they were supposed to do and that, based on my reaction, I was probably suffering with Post Natal Depression...
I'm going to finish this in another post tomorrow.
There was an incident this summer at work when I was on Maternity Leave. Somebody "poo'd" in a plastic cup and left it in the toilets.
Yup. Really.
I work for a major Corporation and it says a lot if your employees feel so dissatisfied that they choose to go to such lengths. Lets not even mention the frequent blocking of the men's toilets so that the sewage leaked everywhere.
Annnnyway, I returned to work in August. I was (and am) still breastfeeding. There was a lot of hooha about me needing my own fridge to store my milk in. The lady who sorted it out was very proud of the sign that she made which said "Only Authorised Personnel to use". I wasn't completely comfortable about leaving my milk in the fridge as it was in the middle of the kitchen that everyone has access too (about 150 people). However, I stored the little bottle in one of those Tommee Tippee microwave tubs so you couldn't see what it was if you just opened the fridge to have a nose.
A few weeks in, someone decided to leave their beef slices and cottage cheese in my fridge. I actually thought it was quite funny at the time. However, the "Fridge Lady" was very annoyed and sent a very strongly worded email out to everyone saying that only Authorised Personnel could use the fridge. She then said she would have the fridge cleaned in case of "contamination". I thought this was a bit bizarre cause the milk was stored in the same fridge as our food at home.
The following week I had finished for the day and went up to collect my milk that was stored in the fridge. Except it had been moved. It wasn't in the same place I had put it. Which meant someone had gone in and done "something" to it.
I told the "Fridge Lady" and as I drove home I got more and more upset and more and more angry. When I got home I could barely talk I was crying so hard. I wanted to do something and the only thing I could think of doing was to phone Occupational Health and explain what had happened.
Do you know what the lady from Occupational Health said? She said that the Corporation had done everything they were supposed to do and that, based on my reaction, I was probably suffering with Post Natal Depression...
I'm going to finish this in another post tomorrow.
Tuesday, 11 October 2011
Curveballs
Yup, I know. It's been bloody AGES since I've posted anything. Have a bit of a confession. I'm running another blog and it's wildly more successful than this one so I've kind of been focusing on that. Oh yes, and Dumpling, "returning to work", running a household and trying not to neglect PH and all of my friends. Or this blog of course <blush>.
It's been quite a challenging couple of months. First there was the whole "going back to work" crap. God was it awful. The first month just sucked. I can't complain though cause I'm only working from Mon-Wed. Although I can tell you that this is MORE than enough. I literally skip out of the office on Wednesday evening. Dropping Dumpling at nursery was just the worst. I seem to be coping now though, which I guess is a good thing.
PH started a new job three weeks ago. GOODBYE MILITARY!!!!!!!!!! whooohooo!!! Not sure I mentioned that PH worked for the military. If he'd stayed he would have been away for 9 months of the year. So we made a decision that it would be best for him to exit quickly, before all the Defence cuts kicked in and he'd be competing with 40 of his colleagues for one job. Pleased to report he's very, very happy in his new job. So that's one less thing to worry about.
Oh and of course there has been the whole "somebody tampered with my breast milk at work" scenario. Going to do a seperate blog post for that soon. Then there's the Jury Service/Projectile Vomiting scenario. Bet you are looking forward to the post on that! Seriously, you couldn't make half of this crap up.
And then there is Dumpling. Who is still perfect despite teething and being a little rat bag over the weekend. She's proper crawling now, which meant everything went UP off the floor very quickly. She's tormented the cat and has scars to prove it (bad parenting and PH went bonkers when he found out. The scar is fading thank goodness...opps!). She's started on proper food and loves it all. Apart from Swede. That gives her the worst screaming tantrum in the night. Oh and did I mention that was the day before I started back at work? Anyway, she's still perfect and I still just want to kiss her cheeks all the time.
So, that's it for now. Again, I'm going to make a concerted effort to try to find my voice a bit more, assuming my other blog doesn't take up all my time! That sounds awful doesn't it. lol.
It's been quite a challenging couple of months. First there was the whole "going back to work" crap. God was it awful. The first month just sucked. I can't complain though cause I'm only working from Mon-Wed. Although I can tell you that this is MORE than enough. I literally skip out of the office on Wednesday evening. Dropping Dumpling at nursery was just the worst. I seem to be coping now though, which I guess is a good thing.
PH started a new job three weeks ago. GOODBYE MILITARY!!!!!!!!!! whooohooo!!! Not sure I mentioned that PH worked for the military. If he'd stayed he would have been away for 9 months of the year. So we made a decision that it would be best for him to exit quickly, before all the Defence cuts kicked in and he'd be competing with 40 of his colleagues for one job. Pleased to report he's very, very happy in his new job. So that's one less thing to worry about.
Oh and of course there has been the whole "somebody tampered with my breast milk at work" scenario. Going to do a seperate blog post for that soon. Then there's the Jury Service/Projectile Vomiting scenario. Bet you are looking forward to the post on that! Seriously, you couldn't make half of this crap up.
And then there is Dumpling. Who is still perfect despite teething and being a little rat bag over the weekend. She's proper crawling now, which meant everything went UP off the floor very quickly. She's tormented the cat and has scars to prove it (bad parenting and PH went bonkers when he found out. The scar is fading thank goodness...opps!). She's started on proper food and loves it all. Apart from Swede. That gives her the worst screaming tantrum in the night. Oh and did I mention that was the day before I started back at work? Anyway, she's still perfect and I still just want to kiss her cheeks all the time.
So, that's it for now. Again, I'm going to make a concerted effort to try to find my voice a bit more, assuming my other blog doesn't take up all my time! That sounds awful doesn't it. lol.
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
Phew and Eugh...
Can you believe that I've been trying to write this post since Friday!
Very pleased to report that Thursday was fine. PH took his Dad out for a walk when Dumpling needed feeding, me and the Mother In Law (MIL) had a lovely chat and we managed to get home by 8pm. All my anxiety was unnecessary. However, it's probably because I was ready for trouble. It's always when you aren't ready for trouble that things explode.
My MIL was very sweet and kept telling Dumpling how much she loved her. Dumpling was a total little charmer and just kept smiling at her Grandma. It was sooo weet! We didn't directly talk about my Father In Law's (FIL's) issue with feeding but my MIL did say how proud she was of me, for continuing to breastfeed Dumpling despite all the issue's we have had. So, that was a very nice bit of recognition that I hadn't been expecting and gave me a nice warm glow.
Our current challenge is Dumpling's first cold. Which she has very kindly passed on to me. There is snot everywhere and the front door has a great big red X on it. So, I'm having to deal with a sick baby whilst not feeling particularly great myself. She is fine in herself though, apart from last night where we had lots of screaming before bedtime so the magic potion (calpol) was administered. Luckily PH is home from work today so he's doing a fab job of looking after us and Dumpling is sleeping it off at the moment. I hate snot at the best of times and I knew this day would come, but it's soooo gross when babies wipe it across their face because they don't know any better. This is one of those bits of parenting that I could do without!
Very pleased to report that Thursday was fine. PH took his Dad out for a walk when Dumpling needed feeding, me and the Mother In Law (MIL) had a lovely chat and we managed to get home by 8pm. All my anxiety was unnecessary. However, it's probably because I was ready for trouble. It's always when you aren't ready for trouble that things explode.
My MIL was very sweet and kept telling Dumpling how much she loved her. Dumpling was a total little charmer and just kept smiling at her Grandma. It was sooo weet! We didn't directly talk about my Father In Law's (FIL's) issue with feeding but my MIL did say how proud she was of me, for continuing to breastfeed Dumpling despite all the issue's we have had. So, that was a very nice bit of recognition that I hadn't been expecting and gave me a nice warm glow.
Our current challenge is Dumpling's first cold. Which she has very kindly passed on to me. There is snot everywhere and the front door has a great big red X on it. So, I'm having to deal with a sick baby whilst not feeling particularly great myself. She is fine in herself though, apart from last night where we had lots of screaming before bedtime so the magic potion (calpol) was administered. Luckily PH is home from work today so he's doing a fab job of looking after us and Dumpling is sleeping it off at the moment. I hate snot at the best of times and I knew this day would come, but it's soooo gross when babies wipe it across their face because they don't know any better. This is one of those bits of parenting that I could do without!
Thursday, 14 July 2011
Visiting the In Laws tonight...
First time in about three weeks. PH and I have our plan in place. We will arrive at 6pm and then leave at 7.30pm. PH has decided that we will be staying no later than 7.30pm because Dumpling is now in a routine that means she goes to bed between 7.30pm and 8pm.
Not sure how his parents will react but am very impressed with his strength of feeling. However, this means that she will need a feed during the time we are at theirs. As we will only be there for 1.5 hours and will be eating during this time, I have no idea how this is going to work out. Our strategic plan last time was that PH took his Dad out for a walk when Dumpling needed a feed. However, there isn't going to be time for this, and PH's Dad does the cooking (he's a fab cook, which slightly makes up for the hassle with feeding). I am hoping that PH and his Dad will just stay in the kitchen out of the way or I will have to go and sit in the car (they apparently don't have room upstairs for me to feed). If I have to go and sit in the car then I think I'm just going to go home.
It's been a bit of a tradition over the past couple of years that we go to the In Laws for dinner every second Thurs. However, I can see this is going to become a total bind, especially when I'm back at work. I knew it was going to be a nightmare, trying to ensure that everyone was kept happy once Dumpling arrived but I hadn't realised how much of a challenge it would be to ensure that we all get to see everyone and yet still have quality family time. The grandparents are already grimbling that they don't see Dumpling enough. I know it's awesome that she's had such a positive influence on their lives, but I don't want to get to the point where we are forever visiting people to keep them happy. In fact, I know it won't get like that because we won't let it, but I just don't feel I have the capacity for the grief that we are going to get. It doesn't help when my Mother In Law (who is lovely) had a monumental strop when we told her that we wouldn't appreciate them just "dropping round" and they needed to phone in advance. The phrase "I'm do NOT need to phone to make an appointment with my Granddaughter!!!" came up.
I knew parenting would be challenging, but I thought it would be Dumpling, not everyone else! Thank goodness she's such a perfect little baby.
Not sure how his parents will react but am very impressed with his strength of feeling. However, this means that she will need a feed during the time we are at theirs. As we will only be there for 1.5 hours and will be eating during this time, I have no idea how this is going to work out. Our strategic plan last time was that PH took his Dad out for a walk when Dumpling needed a feed. However, there isn't going to be time for this, and PH's Dad does the cooking (he's a fab cook, which slightly makes up for the hassle with feeding). I am hoping that PH and his Dad will just stay in the kitchen out of the way or I will have to go and sit in the car (they apparently don't have room upstairs for me to feed). If I have to go and sit in the car then I think I'm just going to go home.
It's been a bit of a tradition over the past couple of years that we go to the In Laws for dinner every second Thurs. However, I can see this is going to become a total bind, especially when I'm back at work. I knew it was going to be a nightmare, trying to ensure that everyone was kept happy once Dumpling arrived but I hadn't realised how much of a challenge it would be to ensure that we all get to see everyone and yet still have quality family time. The grandparents are already grimbling that they don't see Dumpling enough. I know it's awesome that she's had such a positive influence on their lives, but I don't want to get to the point where we are forever visiting people to keep them happy. In fact, I know it won't get like that because we won't let it, but I just don't feel I have the capacity for the grief that we are going to get. It doesn't help when my Mother In Law (who is lovely) had a monumental strop when we told her that we wouldn't appreciate them just "dropping round" and they needed to phone in advance. The phrase "I'm do NOT need to phone to make an appointment with my Granddaughter!!!" came up.
I knew parenting would be challenging, but I thought it would be Dumpling, not everyone else! Thank goodness she's such a perfect little baby.
Monday, 23 May 2011
If you can't beat 'em...
It’s all so cliché! I can’t believe I’ve been sucked in so quickly. It’s as if my previous life just didn’t happen at all. I forgot the word for “hill” the other day. Ended up describing it as “you know, that up and downy thing with the dip in the middle”. I have a Masters degree and yet I couldn’t remember a word that Dumpling is probably going to know by the time she is two, if not earlier! It’s all so tragic. I held my first coffee morning last week and I thoroughly enjoyed it. If I had uttered the previous sentence a few years ago I would have asked someone to shoot me there and then!
Parenting has been a shock but it’s also been a shock at how quickly I've become sucked in. I now have no other subject of discussion other than Dumpling. What did I used to talk about before? I went out with a friend for lunch for a few precious hours of "me time" and I had to rack my brains to think of things to talk about that didn't involve my child. I hope she didn't notice.
Perfect Husband and I went out for dinner on our own last week, for the first time since Dumpling has arrived. He slapped me when we first sat there and I couldn't think of anything to say that didn't relate to our antenatal course friends or Dumpling's progress and future. I'm pleased to say, that once I stopped thinking about her, we ended up having a really good conversation and had a lovely evening. It was quite surprising how quickly I did "forget" about her. I didn't phone or constantly text the babysitter but I was delighted to get home and find that Dumpling was ok. Does that make me a bad Mum, that I didn't think about her all the time and that it was a relief to NOT think about her constantly?
Parenting has been a shock but it’s also been a shock at how quickly I've become sucked in. I now have no other subject of discussion other than Dumpling. What did I used to talk about before? I went out with a friend for lunch for a few precious hours of "me time" and I had to rack my brains to think of things to talk about that didn't involve my child. I hope she didn't notice.
Perfect Husband and I went out for dinner on our own last week, for the first time since Dumpling has arrived. He slapped me when we first sat there and I couldn't think of anything to say that didn't relate to our antenatal course friends or Dumpling's progress and future. I'm pleased to say, that once I stopped thinking about her, we ended up having a really good conversation and had a lovely evening. It was quite surprising how quickly I did "forget" about her. I didn't phone or constantly text the babysitter but I was delighted to get home and find that Dumpling was ok. Does that make me a bad Mum, that I didn't think about her all the time and that it was a relief to NOT think about her constantly?
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Things I have learnt recently...
- how to type with one hand
- I don't have to reply immediately to every email that needs a response
- you can still have a life with a new baby, it's just a different life to the one you had before
- to ignore people who think they know your child better than you do, when they haven't had children themselves or are new mothers and learning just like you are
- Dumpling's skin smells fantastic!
- 45 minutes of enforced downtime (nursing) every couple of hours can be very relaxing and thought provoking but it can also be incredibly boring
- I need something else in my life now I have finished my MBA
- how to sterilize baby "things"
- there is nothing cuter than seeing your baby asleep in her Daddy's arms
- you can read all the books in the world, but they won't prepare you at all for the real thing!
- that people send wedding anniversary cards (having never been married before, the thought never occurred to me!)
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