Banned from Breastfeeding

by my own family!!! Although, actually it's my Father in Law, but even so. I get on really well with my in laws and I had soooo not expected anti-breastfeeding to be so close to home.

The other weekend we went out with the In Laws. Perfect Husband's Mum had a quiet word in his ear. When we got home he told me that his Dad didn't "approve of breastfeeding". I was so taken aback by this statement that I responded quite calmly, considering. I asked him to clarify what that meant and he said that his Dad doesn't want me to feed Dumpling in front of him anymore. It's not as if I'm very blatant about it, but apparently because I'm using shields my Father In Law thinks he might "see something". Up until now my Father in Law always left the room when I was feeding so I didn't think it was an issue. PH (Perfect Husband, not Public House ;-))  has been told since that I'm not allowed to nurse at the In Law's house. I was too shocked to comment.

That evening was really tense for me and PH. I know he felt the blame and wanted to tell his Dad he was being an idiot. We decided that probably wouldn't be the best initial approach although we might revert to it later. I know he felt guilty though as he snapped at me, which he hardly ever does. To make matters worse we were going to the In Law's for Sunday Lunch the following day. We talked about what we would do when Dumpling became hungry, so we agreed that we would just leave. Half way through lunch we were chatting and then somehow we started talking about feeding. My Father in Law said to me that he "didn't believe in the breast". Interestingly he didn't make eye contact whilst saying this. I ignored my Father In Law's comment and spent the whole time looking at PH because if I had responded I would have either burst into tears or punched my Father in Law. Dumpling did get hungry and PH made up an excuse that we had left the shields at home and needed to get back to feed. I felt so guilty and like such a crap Mum on the 10 min drive home as Dumpling screamed the whole way.

I have been so upset about this since and it's made me even more insecure about feeding in public. I hate it at the best of times and feel intensly vulnerable. Unfortunately I cannot feed discretely because my boobs are MASSIVE (they were before Dumpling began). I even considered giving up breastfeeding that weekend. Even though we had 9 weeks of hell with it and only the last 5 weeks have been comfortable.

I have bitten my tongue since, which is not normally like me, but I don't want to cause a rift in the family. I don't want to tell my In Law's that they actually caused a lot of angst for PH and I. I feel for Perfect Husband. He's stuck between a rock and a hard place. We have tried to justify his Dad's behaviour by saying that it's an age thing or a cultural thing (he was bought up in a generation and place that only ever used the bottle) or that it's a medical thing (he had a brain tumour several years ago and hasn't been quite right since). We have also discussed why they have decided to bring it up now, three months in.

We have since decided that as Dumpling cluster feeds (has lots of feeds) of an evening we will no longer be able to take her round to see my In Law's in the week. I have come to the conclusion that it will be their loss for the next couple of months.