Dumpling's first swimming lesson...

Was absolutely brilliant! The lessons are on Friday afternoons and as PH finishes work early on Fridays swimming lessons are going to be his and Dumpling's bonding activity. Dumpling was a little star, she was dunked twice and on the first dunk she flustered a bit but on the second dunk she didn't bat an eyelid. She was even kicking her legs when they were swimming around. PH couldn't stop grinning through the lesson and for the rest of the evening. He said he felt like a bit of a plonka singing the nursery rhymes but I was very supportive and told him to suck it up!

The great thing is that this has helped to increase PH's interest in Bath time. He has always loved bath time but now that he has been advised to practice with Dumpling he's even more keen to get her bathed. Which gives me about half an hour to myself. Bliss!

However, I am slightly incensed with the swimming school taking £140 out of my account already for the Autumn term which starts in September and then advising me that I have a two week "window" in July in which we can change our lessons but any changes outside this will cost £30 administration fee. So, erm, if I want to make changes in August then I have to pay £30? Seems a bit of a cheek to me as the lessons aren't exactly cheap. Unfortunately they are the only swimming school in the area so they kinda have us parents over a barrel. Just seems a bit ruthless. Guess I'm going to have to get used to this sort of thing and stop being such a naive new parent!

Dumpling is 15 weeks old

I've been reflecting over the past few days now that we seem to have reached the 3 month mark. Things are supposed to get a bit easier and thankfully they have. Dumpling is becoming a bit more independent which means I can leave her to amuse herself without having to run around to get back to her before she gets upset.

I'm so glad that we are still breastfeeding. It's been such a battle to get here. I completely understand now, how it can take over your life whilst you are doing it. It's such an intense experience, although experience doesn't seem to be the right word. It's more like an intense journey. Every day there seemed to be a different challenge. At the moment it feels like we have it cracked, although I know how quickly that can change.I think I've processed the difficult birth bit. When I think back, the events seem quite hazy and if I hadn't already repeated my birth story to other mother's, I don't think I would remember any of the details.

We seem to have developed a family routine, although it's not very rigid, which I actually quite like. I love that we are a family now and that we do family activities together. I love that PH and I are bringing up our daughter together and that we have the honour of watching her grow and develop. I've also managed to keep a little bit of BD (Before Dumpling) as I've managed to go out with friends and pretend that I'm not a Mum and that my life hasn't changed. My life has radically changed though and I am so glad that it has. As much as I want to hold Dumpling close to me and stop her from growing and changing every day, I am really looking forward to seeing the young girl that she develops into. The first 10 weeks were really tough, but they were so worth it.

A few things I have learnt recently

I was chatting to a friend the other day and we were talking about what happens once our babies start moving. She was given a play pen and she has already started putting her baby into it. She was given the play pen because the baby who it was originally bought for screamed whenever they were put into it, because they weren't slowly introduced to it. It hadn't occurred to me, to put Dumpling in the pen early on so she gets used to it before it becomes a dire need when she's fully mobile.

I talked to another Mum recently about how Dumpling reacted to her 12 week shots. The Mum recommended giving Dumpling calpol BEFORE her shots were given. Hadn't thought of that one either!

Have we suddenly regressed back to the Dark Ages?

My father in law doesn't like me breastfeeding in his presence. So, we have basically been banned from going over to my in law's house. I'm really disappointed at his small mindedness. I can understand why he feels uncomfortable but we have been coping for the past three months as he just leaves the room when I'm feeding Dumpling.

I've already blogged about this a few weeks ago but it's still weighing heavily on me. My father in Law even bought it up when PH phoned him on Sunday to wish him a happy Father's Day. I was very proud of PH because he didn't hang up, just told my father in law that he didn't know what he was talking about and to keep quiet until he did. I bumped into one of the breastfeeding counselor's this morning and mentioned  what had happened and she said that it might be that my Father in Law is reacting so strongly because he feels guilty. PH and his brother were both bottle fed and by suggesting that "breast is best" the bf counselor said that this could imply to PH's parents that they didn't do what is best for their sons. 

Next time it comes up in "conversation" I think I'm going to ask my Father in Law why he is so against the breast. I'm intrigued by what his answers might be.

How can it already be the middle of June?

I've been very remiss at not updating this blog and I apologise for this. My plan is to update the post at least once a day for the next month.

I've also been thinking about what this blog should be about. There are so many "Mummy blogs" out there that I'm not sure how I can differentiate myself, if I can at all. People recommend blogging about what you know, so I think I'm going to add a few more things, all of which you should see over the next month...

I say "all" because as far as I can tell nobody is reading this blog. Ho hum.

Banned from Breastfeeding

by my own family!!! Although, actually it's my Father in Law, but even so. I get on really well with my in laws and I had soooo not expected anti-breastfeeding to be so close to home.

The other weekend we went out with the In Laws. Perfect Husband's Mum had a quiet word in his ear. When we got home he told me that his Dad didn't "approve of breastfeeding". I was so taken aback by this statement that I responded quite calmly, considering. I asked him to clarify what that meant and he said that his Dad doesn't want me to feed Dumpling in front of him anymore. It's not as if I'm very blatant about it, but apparently because I'm using shields my Father In Law thinks he might "see something". Up until now my Father in Law always left the room when I was feeding so I didn't think it was an issue. PH (Perfect Husband, not Public House ;-))  has been told since that I'm not allowed to nurse at the In Law's house. I was too shocked to comment.

That evening was really tense for me and PH. I know he felt the blame and wanted to tell his Dad he was being an idiot. We decided that probably wouldn't be the best initial approach although we might revert to it later. I know he felt guilty though as he snapped at me, which he hardly ever does. To make matters worse we were going to the In Law's for Sunday Lunch the following day. We talked about what we would do when Dumpling became hungry, so we agreed that we would just leave. Half way through lunch we were chatting and then somehow we started talking about feeding. My Father in Law said to me that he "didn't believe in the breast". Interestingly he didn't make eye contact whilst saying this. I ignored my Father In Law's comment and spent the whole time looking at PH because if I had responded I would have either burst into tears or punched my Father in Law. Dumpling did get hungry and PH made up an excuse that we had left the shields at home and needed to get back to feed. I felt so guilty and like such a crap Mum on the 10 min drive home as Dumpling screamed the whole way.

I have been so upset about this since and it's made me even more insecure about feeding in public. I hate it at the best of times and feel intensly vulnerable. Unfortunately I cannot feed discretely because my boobs are MASSIVE (they were before Dumpling began). I even considered giving up breastfeeding that weekend. Even though we had 9 weeks of hell with it and only the last 5 weeks have been comfortable.

I have bitten my tongue since, which is not normally like me, but I don't want to cause a rift in the family. I don't want to tell my In Law's that they actually caused a lot of angst for PH and I. I feel for Perfect Husband. He's stuck between a rock and a hard place. We have tried to justify his Dad's behaviour by saying that it's an age thing or a cultural thing (he was bought up in a generation and place that only ever used the bottle) or that it's a medical thing (he had a brain tumour several years ago and hasn't been quite right since). We have also discussed why they have decided to bring it up now, three months in.

We have since decided that as Dumpling cluster feeds (has lots of feeds) of an evening we will no longer be able to take her round to see my In Law's in the week. I have come to the conclusion that it will be their loss for the next couple of months.