Thank You Cards

What's the general etiquette these days for sending out Thank you cards? My understanding is that they need to be sent within a month, especially after Christmas, although that's what would happen in a perfect world... Can I get away with sending the cards out for all of Dumpling's birth gifts four months after she was born? We didn't send our wedding thank you cards out till six months later cause I felt so crap due to being pregnant.

I've tried to be clever with Dumpling's Thank you cards and it's backfired. I wanted to do individual pictures of Dumpling wearing or with each of her birth gifts. We were doing really well but then it turns out that the latest picture paper has "gone off", so about a week after the pictures were printed yellow patches started to appear. They look really rubbish now. So we've got to do some of them all over again. I was going with the approach of sending out 10 a week, but we've still got 15 to go and I know I'm leaving it really late. I just don't seem to be able to get motivated. Dumpling started gurgling back in conversation this week so we've spent most of the week doing that and I just can't be bothered with thank you cards at the moment. I want them done though, cause having them hanging around is bugging me, but it means a trip to a place which sells picture paper and oh it's just too much effort!

I will get to them soon though. Its the least we can do as we received so many wonderful gifts, from very unexpected people too. I guess that's what new babies do to people. Just how far can I push it without being rude?

How many mothers have been discriminated against by their Employer?

It's an interesting question. Half of the new Mum's that I know have been treated illegally or very poorly by their employers. I know that this isn't a very scientific study but that's still quite a shocking number. The issues range from being denied returning to work part time as part of the "phased approach" plan to not paying out sick leave which was a pregnancy related illness.

It's quite worrying that in this day and age these things still happen. I've talked to many women about the shocking statistic that women are still paid considerably less than their male counterparts who are doing exactly the same job.

I'm sure that this issue has been written about far more eloquently by many other people who are far better qualified. However, as a woman at the "coalface" of this discrimination it does make my blood boil. Yet I don't seem to be able to do anything about it. I don't want to come across as a bra burner and all of the women that I have talked too says it makes them very angry too, that mother's and women in general are still treated unfairly. Yet we still don't do anything about it. Are we too busy focusing on raising our children and trying to keep afloat in these difficult economic times or is it something that runs much deeper?

If you can't beat 'em...

It’s all so cliché! I can’t believe I’ve been sucked in so quickly. It’s as if my previous life just didn’t happen at all. I forgot the word for “hill” the other day. Ended up describing it as “you know, that up and downy thing with the dip in the middle”. I have a Masters degree and yet I couldn’t remember a word that Dumpling is probably going to know by the time she is two, if not earlier!  It’s all so tragic. I held my first coffee morning  last week and I thoroughly enjoyed it. If I had uttered the previous sentence a few years ago I would have asked someone to shoot me there and then!

Parenting has been a shock but it’s also been a shock at how quickly I've become sucked in. I now have no other subject of discussion other than Dumpling. What did I used to talk about before? I went out with a friend for lunch for a few precious hours of "me time" and I had to rack my brains to think of things to talk about that didn't involve my child. I hope she didn't notice.

Perfect Husband and I went out for dinner on our own last week, for the first time since Dumpling has arrived. He slapped me when we first sat there and I couldn't think of anything to say that didn't relate to our antenatal course friends or Dumpling's progress and future. I'm pleased to say, that once I stopped thinking about her, we ended up having a really good conversation and had a lovely evening. It was quite surprising how quickly I did "forget" about her. I didn't phone or constantly text the babysitter but I was delighted to get home and find that Dumpling was ok. Does that make me a bad Mum, that I didn't think about her all the time and that it was a relief to NOT think about her constantly?

Dumpling

Dumpling was born 11 weeks ago. It's amazing how quickly we have gotten used to her being around. It still feels a bit weird though, when people refer to me as a Mum. I wonder how long it's going to take to get used to it all. Some days I forget that she's my responsibility (as much as you can forget when she's screaming to be fed!). I remember a few days after she was born, those manic days when everyone is still in shock, that we both commented that we already couldn’t remember what life was like before she arrived on the scene.

I really wasn't prepared for how fast she is growing up. I know it's only been a couple of months and before it would have sounded ridiculous, but it really is unnerving how much she changes every day. I was shocked that she was out of her newborn clothes within a couple of weeks. Now I see little babies and think, "ahhh I remember when..." I am well aware of how daft that sounds given that she's only a couple of months old!

We have been really lucky because she has slept through the night since she was 3 weeks old. She would have slept through since the beginning but we had such a nightmare with the feeding and I didn't realise at the time that she wasn't getting enough which was why she wouldn't settle. She only cries when she is hungry or needs her nappy changed. She knows exactly what she wants, even from this young an age.She’s very nosy and needs to be sat up all the time so she can see what’s going on. The day she smiled at us was just awesome. I can’t wait for when she giggles properly for the first time.

Things I have learnt recently...

• how to type with one hand 
• I don't have to reply immediately to every email that needs a response
• you can still have a life with a new baby, it's just a different life to the one you had before
• to ignore people who think they know your child better than you do, when they haven't had children themselves or are new mothers and learning just like you are
• Dumpling's skin smells fantastic!
• 45 minutes of enforced downtime (nursing) every couple of hours can be very relaxing and thought provoking but it can also be incredibly boring
• I need something else in my life now I have finished my MBA
• how to sterilize baby "things"
• there is nothing cuter than seeing your baby asleep in her Daddy's arms
• you can read all the books in the world, but they won't prepare you at all for the real thing!
• that people send wedding anniversary cards (having never been married before, the thought never occurred to me!)

Today is a good day to start!

I've been reading a lot of blogs for the past couple of years but only recently started thinking about writing one. I've had a lot of changes in my life in the past few years, a lot of changes that I once would have said would NEVER happen. Some of these are:

I would never get married
I would never give birth
I would never have a family of my own
I would never live with a man again
I would never change my life for someone else
I would never be a housewife
I would never be able to give up alcohol
I would never have baby brain
I would never finish my MBA

Except they have all happened and I am so grateful that they did. So I think this blog is going to be my way of coming to terms with it all...